Confessions of a Stalking Victim

This one time, I was stalked.

I know, you don't believe it do you? With my redundant relations of rejection, you'd reasonably react with repudiation. (I'm sorry I did that to you just now.)

Well you see, back when I just had moved to Los Angeles and was rather naive about my future prospects of fame, I had decided that I wouldn't be having any serious relationships. But I met a girl on the set of a film, and she liked me. A lot.

Again, I know, this probably seems unbelievable, just bear with me.

I wrote a song about being a Stalker!

So, I told her I didn't want anything serious, I didn't have time, was focusing on my acting career, all that. She was fine with that. Until about six months later, when she wasn't. I could tell things were starting to get a little strange when we had a two hour phone call where she accused me of cheating on her but wouldn't explain why she thought that. She just kept trying to get me to admit it.

Of course, I wasn't. I was just really confused. So, it turns out that, finally, after two hours she admitted that she saw me ask a female friend to a movie on Myspace (I know, I know, I'm so ashamed. It was a few years ago, ok? I swear I don't use Myspace anymore!) and so, of course, I must be cheating on her.

Well, it got weirder after that. She seemed to get more suspicious and so I finally broke things off; it was just strange. Well, that was that, I thought. I did like her and felt bad that it was over, but it seemed perhaps for the best. And that's when the stalking started.

It was really only one night of stalking, sorry to get your hopes up. See I was going to go to the Labyrinth of Jareth, Masquerade Ball. (This is, by the way, one of the most fantastic events you could ever go to; if you're in LA, get your tickets for next year now.) Originally I had hoped to take this girl, let's call her, Stacy. Stacy the Stalker. But, fortunately, there is no shortage of beautiful women that I know in Los Angeles, so I took another friend of mine. (Of course, we never dated.) Let's call this friend, Beatrice the Beauty.

So, there I was, all dressed up in a fancy costume with my Beautiful Beatrice at the Ball. (I swear, I didn't do that one on purpose.) But my fancy date didn't feel well; we only spent about an hour at the ball before I had to take her home. So, I did. Then I thought, "I didn't spend all this time on this costume to stay home all night!" So, I went back to the ball... solo. Or so I thought.

You see Stacy had read on my Myspace (!) that I was going. So she bought a ticket. To find me there. And find me she did, even with my mask on.

"Are you Steve?"

"How do you know?"

"I can tell by how you walk."

Wow. Kind of scary. So I took off my mask and she asked about my date and I told her the truth, and so of course she instantly became my date. My clingy, gropey, beggy, date. She followed me around even when I told her to give me some space. She begged me to go out on to the dance floor, and after a few times, I finally went. We danced and she rubbed herself all over me and tried to kiss me. I really wanted to escape. But no, there was no escape. She followed me everywhere until I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided I was doing to leave. Of course, so did she. She wanted to walk me to my car. I figured at least once I got in, I could escape. But then she asked for a ride back to her car.

Well damn, aren't I a nice guy? I did it. After we parked she threw herself at me, begging me to kiss her. This was really weird. I felt awful. I couldn't give in or she'd stalk me the rest of my life. I was firm, I brought her to her car. She left.

A few days later she admitted she had bought the ticket just to follow me there. I talked to her for the last time, then, and no more stalking occurred. But let me tell you; I learned my lesson.

The next year I brought my Mom as my date to the ball.

Me and Mom at Labyrinth Ball