A Tale of Two Nerd Girls

Why is Steve up at 9:30 in the morning? It's an odd combination of our loud sprinkler system that goes off at 8 am along with the fact that my mind has violently grabbed the reins of my body, insisting I must write things.

"Write, Steve, Write!" It says.

"Blerg, merfl," I respond groggily, trying desperately to hold the eloquent phrases my half asleep mind has conjured up before they float away in the mists of reality.

This is the story of two girls, who cried a river and... no, wait.

The Perfect Princess


All right, she wasn't perfect. I just like alliteration. I met a girl at a party recently. At first I was really impressed at her charm and intelligence. We talked, and in my offhand way of joking around, I think I may have put her off. I wandered around the party and eventually talked with her again. Suddenly she seemed nice again. Hmmm... maybe she didn't totally hate me. I found out a lot about this girl (I don't know why I prefer to say "girl" instead of "woman", I think it's because I still feel like a teenager at heart sometimes.)

Anyway, (I like that word, did you notice?) this princess was pretty, smart and seriously liked just about everything I do. She worked in computers and writing, does LARP, D&D, likes swords, does ballroom dancing, anime, reading (we even have many of the same favorite books) and well, just about everything else I like. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want or need someone who likes everything I do, that would be unrealistic and silly. However, I pictured us together reading, dancing, swordfighting, watching anime, trading witty barbs, and thoroughly enjoying ourselves. I thought, surely, she should have an interest in this idea. When I left the party, she seemed suddenly very nice, and gave me a look when I said goodbye filled with warmth and a light in her eyes. It seemed sincere.

I waited a day or so just to be patient and think about it, and then messaged her on a dating site I knew she was on. I didn't hear anything back, but maybe she just didn't log in there. I messaged her on facebook and added her. She added me as a friend, but never answered my message at either place. Hmm. I have no idea what to make of this. However, a couple days later I met someone else who has made me almost forget her.

The Pretty Pirate


Sometimes random things happen. Somehow I added someone on facebook that I thought maybe I'd met before but I didn't really care because she dressed up like a pirate and I'd like to be friends regardless. Strangely enough, she added me and talked with me. She mentioned she worked nearby and I said I should come visit sometime, and she said, "Come tomorrow!"

That's not the usual response I get from women I just met on the internet. It's usually more like the virtual equivalent of pepper spray and "Get away you stalker!" Well, of course, I went to see her. There are a few people in the world that, I feel, are truly alive inside; full of life and love and energy. This pirate girl is one of them. You could see it in her eyes and her smile and also the way she totally ran around being silly and not caring what people thought. If you know me, this describes my typical day on the town. So many times my friends just watch me being ridiculous, but don't join in*. Here, I had a "partner in crime**," as they say.

Now, this girl and I are by no means as similar as myself and the princess. However, (and I hope I'm right), pirate girl seems to be sweet and caring down to her bones, and that is more important and wonderful than just about anything else. As we walked around my bootlace broke, and she took it from me, tied it back together, knelt down and re-laced it for me without me even asking. This was simultaneously sweet and sexy.

Now, of course, like many geek girls, Pretty Pirate Girl she has many suitors. In just a few days talking with her, she has mentioned at least five other guys after her. In a way, of course, that is to be expected with a pretty pirate. However, it's a little uncomfortable when she talks about how they are in love with her and always telling her. She's friends with some of them also. That makes it interesting. I wonder if there's room for me in there? Will I have to fight them off? Will she realize that I'm worth more than ten average pirate boys! Ha ha! I'm feeling roguey!

Okay, maybe not that roguey.

So far, we've just met the once and I don't even know when I'll see her again. But hey, at least Pirate girl is talking to me! I suppose the Princess will just sit around in her castle.

Aw, man.

* Yes, I know Christina, you ran through the fountain and I didn't. I like being silly, just not wet and silly.
**No laws were actually broken by myself or her last Tuesday.

Cross My Heart and Hope to Die

If you've seen Azumanga Daioh you know about how Sakaki tries to pet this sweet looking little gray cat she sees on the street going to school. And you know that every time she tries, it bites her viciously. But it doesn't warn her, or act vicious. No, it sucks her in, making her think, this time, this time, it will let me pet it. 

Sakaki loves cats

I'm not sure what reason women do this to me, but I have a feeling if I understood this gray cat, I'd understand women.

Ouch! That hurts!

I was at a random New Year's party last year when I met a beautiful bartender girl. She actually had tattoos on her that spoke about her faith, the same as mine. She talked to me a lot, seemed very interested, and gave me her number. We became facebook friends. She gave me her number. We talked. I was a little excited during the conversation, I interrupted her a couple of times. I called later and left a voice mail and apologized for interrupting. She never spoke to me again. Didn't answer texts, or facebook, or... anything. Just threw me away and I don't know why. 

I met another girl at karaoke I really liked. She sang like an angel. We knew each other for about six months, talking every week at karaoke. I got her number. We became facebook friends. We talked. Then, one day, she stopped returning my texts. And my facebook messages. And never talked to me again. 

Mild Heart Contusions

There was yet another girl who was a punk chick and competition gamer. Beautiful, and hey, a gamer! She said she liked this Halo shirt I had, so I told her I'd get her one. She told me she was coming to a convention I was also going to and she'd meet me in the gaming room on Saturday. I bought her a shirt. I waited around the gaming room for two hours. I kept checking it for her the whole rest of the convention. I got home, no message or anything from her. I messaged her and she said, "Oh, yeah. I didn't feel like going." Gee, thanks for telling me.

One day I met a nice fan girl on Facebook who was a friend of a friend. Well, she seemed nice. We talked a lot, and finally set a date, I was going to take her on a grand adventure, I had a big day planned. She never showed up. She didn't answer her phone or messages. The next day I messaged her asking why she hadn't contacted me. She told me that she had texted me (which I never got), and then, proceeded to block me on Facebook and never spoke to me again. 

I went on a date with a girl that worked at a restaurant. Later I visited her and we had a great time. She told me how she would love to learn English better, and also meet more American friends. That night I read to her out of a children's book and helped her learn some new words. I arranged a dinner party with a dozen of my friends to meet her. All my friends were waiting, the dinner was prepared -- and she was nowhere to be found. No phone, no nothing. Three days later I went to her work (I thought maybe she had been in an accident), and there she was, smiling cheerfully at me like nothing happened. She had some bizarre excuse for not coming. Then she invited me to Vegas with her and a friend the next week. Except that, once again, she never answered her phone and ended up going without me. 

Et tu, Fluffy?

These were girls I wanted to date, but even girls I have been just friends with have done this. 

A girl I met at a convention was having troubles; she had to move out of her place fast. Even though I had chronic fatigue at the time, I helped her pack and move all of her stuff, put it in my car, and moved it to a storage area. Then I let her crash at my place for two days while I found her a temporary place to live, at my friend's house. She then got a flight home to the east coast with plans to move back here later. So, how did she thank me for all of my efforts? She deleted me from Facebook and never spoke to me again. 

Just recently I saw a friend of mine pop up in my top friends that I hadn't spoken to in years. I realized I didn't know much about her life for a long time and so I messaged her and asked if we could talk, saying I'd like to know what she has been up to and who she is now. She was kind of evasive at first. I messaged her and she said she didn't know why I was trying to talk to her. And I said, well, I already told you, I haven't talked to you in five years (except for little FB comments) and I was wondering what you've been doing. But I guess she didn't want to talk to me. A week later, she deleted me from her friends. Obviously, wanting to be real life friends is grounds for deleting a friend on Facebook.

I Don't Get it, Obviously

If I only understood why this all happened. There's about twice as many stories like these, but I didn't want to make the world's longest blog about being stood up. I really don't know what I'm doing to cause this to happen. I actually was interested in a genuine relationship with these women (except the last two) and wasn't out to use them or have a one night stand or anything like that. I just wanted to be nice to the little gray cat, why does she keep biting me?

All children, except one, grow up.

I'm not sure I understand what is happening to me. I think it started back when I watched the Avengers.

As you probably know, Avengers was kind of a good movie. Anyway, I realized something that I had actually already realized a long time ago but then, realized again. What did I realize that I already had realized, you ask? It is this: we can never be superheroes.

It just wouldn't work. I mean, if you sit and think about the logistics of it... transportation, secret identity, trying to have a life, etc. it just doesn't work. Which is pretty sad.

So, I thought, "If I can't be a super hero, what can I be?" I still want to be extraordinary. I took a desktop picture of Captain America's uniform and shield in a locker (from the film) and added a caption underneath saying, "Do you want to be extraordinary?" Every day I wake up, look at it, and think, YES.

It made me think, also, about the kind of woman I want to be with. There are so many of the geek/nerd girl types that live their lives around fandom. They live for conventions, costumes, shows, games... all good stuff, but what else are you doing with your life? I want someone to share the dream with me of doing amazing things, or hell, at least trying to.  I know that not all the fangirls are just into fandom. But it got me thinking, maybe I'd rather be with a girl who just kind of likes this stuff. A girl (or dare I say, woman) who wants to make a difference in people's lives while she is here on earth.

Peter Pan as a Zombie. Because Google.

So maybe I'm turning into some kind of grown up. Does that mean I'll be no fun? Man, I still love to have fun so that's a scary idea. I think I'll still have fun... but maybe more along the way.

It's hard to imagine being with someone who doesn't get all my obscure references to Firefly and Ghostbusters and Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei... oh wait, no one gets all of those. Nevermind. But something is changing. Like this blog. It used to be funny. Remember?