Revised and Extended Remorse

So, remember last time I was mentioning about how some women say, "It's just not the right time," or, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." What they really mean is with you, Steve Racer.

Weeks later, I find they are dating someone. Why do I even believe people any more?

That's all I got.

Sometimes I do dumb things

For some reason I've felt compelled to tell you these really dumb things I did on a date recently.

Dumb thing #1

So we're in the parking lot getting in my car. A yellowish, smelly, kind of dirty parking lot. Not exactly a place for blooming romance. I'm joking around with her and somehow I get up in her face kind of, like "I wanna fight you" but just kidding type thing. Then I realize: this is a date, Steve. Now she thinks you're going to try to kiss her.

Man. The dingy gross parking lot was not my idea of where to have a first kiss. But you see, now I was stuck because I'm there, right up close, and if I don't kiss her now, she will think I started to kiss her and then chickened out. That's even marginally worse! So, I kissed her. It seemed kind of awkward. At least she didn't turn her head away. But then, it got worse...

Dear God, what is that...those....things?

Dumb thing #2

So I went to give her a goodnight kiss. Hey, we already kissed earlier, right? So I did, it was a nice kiss, out there in the yard. But then, at the end of the kiss, out loud, I said, "Muah!" 

Instant horror went through me all the way down through my shoes, penetrating the deep crust of the earth to its core. "Muah?" Who does that? I never do that! Where did this "Muah" come from? Why did this happen now? But it was too late, the Muah Monster had escaped. I had to play it off and just pretend I did this on purpose. I'm probably known to her forever as "Muah-man", giving off an aura of muah-ness wherever I tread.

Phrequent Phone Phailure

I haven't been trying so hard lately because, well, as you probably know, it's a brutal world out there. Yet I've met some nice lovely ladies lately that seemed compelling so I asked for some phone numbers. Let's see the results shall we!

#1 - Friendly and fun brunette at a party, mentioned how fun it would be to hang out again. 

       Result: Phake Phone number. She didn't even put any effort in it, it ended in 2020. Some guy answered.

#2 - Lovely law student at Hollywood event. Talked with me a lot, even asked me for my card. Got her number when I left.

      Result: Real phone number! Never returned phone call or text. This is one of the great unsolved mysteries. 

#3 - Incredible, talented, beautiful lady. Also talked with me a lot. Alive and in love with life, charmed me. Gave me her number, said I was "awesome." 

       Result: Just wants to be friends.

#4 - Pretty Irish girl at St. Pat's Day! Danced with her, talked, had fun. Got her number. 

      Result: Texted today, no answer. Verdict still out but outlook not good.

P.S. Today my roommate told me he never feels lonely. I almost murdered him where he stood.