The End of Full Metal Dating

Congratulations, you have reached the end of the internet.

This is the (so-called) final blog of Full Metal Dating, the blog where Steve formerly detailed his disastrous dating life as a geek searching for true love. It’s been a fun ride. And now for the serious.

For pretty much my entire life, I’ve failed miserably at finding love. When I was a teenager, I foolishly fell in love with the prettiest girls in the school when every time there were wonderful girls around me who actually liked me (and not the Quarterback.) Of course I took them for granted and dreamed of cheerleaders. There was Penny, and Wendy, and Robyn… I’m sorry Robyn. See, we were on this church retreat for the summer and she wrote the newsletter for the group and suddenly I was running for the “Youth Congress” and she liked me so much she gave me inside information from her surveys on what the students wanted and I even used it to get elected. (Was that wrong?) She was smart, pretty, courageous, clever… and I was too busy drooling over some girl that wouldn’t even talk to me. She must have been so happy when I barely won the last seat, but I was too stupid to realize how great she was.

                In college I was engaged to a girl who broke up with me by writing a letter. She lived about 130 miles away. I had no car. To persuade her to change her mind, I decided I’d ride my bike to her house. I made it 108 of the 130 miles with a backpack containing a bologna sandwich (eaten) and some underwear (not eaten.) It wasn’t enough to convince her. I eventually married a woman that I felt God had chosen for me, and everything went wrong.

                For three years I tried to make things work, but there was nothing I could do. After we split there were many nights with Jose Cuervo and Xanax so I could sleep. This, I think, shaped my future of relationships. I trusted God for many things in the past, but after the failed marriage, I had no faith in that area.

                Yeah, by the way, I’m a Christian. I didn’t talk about it much in my blog; I mean, I’m already a geek fanboy trying to find a woman, adding “Christian” to it seemed even more difficult. The blog was kind of lighthearted anyway, but those days are at an end. One year ago my heart was broken for the last time. I didn’t blog about this girl because I thought she was “the one.” Anyway, for whatever reason my whole world fell apart after that, not even directly related to what happened with her. So, I’ve been on my own for a year. I lost my health and I struggled just to keep going for twelve months. But I did it with the mercy of Christ, and I’m not 100% yet, but I reckon I’ll live anyway. And so it’s time for the new revelation: I’m trusting God from now on for my future, including my future woman. I’m letting go of the past.

                Right now I’m not in any shape to date anyone, I still have weeks, maybe months of healing to do. I’ve even said that I could just stay single and be happy, just to have my health back again. And that’s probably true, but that isn’t how my Father works. He does more than we expect, he does more than we imagine. I am saying that I believe He has someone for me out there, and I will know and she will know and that’s how I’m going to live my life from now on. No more playing “by the numbers,” trying to find my one in a million. She’s out there, somewhere, and when it’s time, she will be there. And together, we will be unstoppable. Our future is amazing, our future with God in his family. We will experience amazing things, conquer obstacles, sing, run, laugh, and be full of amazing joy. She and I will be super heroes, adventurers, vampires, and whatever else we can imagine. I won’t give up, but I will cease my struggling and striving now. Let it be on earth, as it is in heaven.

                Thank you all for reading my blog and supporting me over the years. Thanks for laughing with me, and sharing your stories. Thank you for being a reader and a friend. I pray that you will also find your path, the one God has made for you.