I often have deep thoughts in the shower. I suspect many do. Today's musings included thoughts about family, friends, and life, as well as wondering what we would be eating today if turkeys were better at flying. I also thought: you know, I have a lot of single friends. They probably get lonely like I do. In fact, they probably have the same kinds of feelings and experiences I do.
This led to a revelation: if you're alone today, you're not alone.
So, all of you who read this: know that there are others who have the same experiences and feelings, and are having them right now. Somewhere, out there, someone is going to a Thanksgiving dinner with family and cousins and siblings who will be bringing their boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives and wondering how long they will be the odd one out. Someone else is just sick and tired of having parents ask them when they can expect some grandchildren. And surely someone is completely disgusted at hearing, "You're a great person, I'm sure you'll find someone someday," for the thirty eight billion thousandth time.
The truth is, there's no guarantee there's someone out there for you. Hell, there's no guarantee you won't get hit by a bus tomorrow, or get a horrible wasting disease, or get exposed to gamma rays and develop mutant human strength and save the world from disaster. There's an important lesson here. Radiation is dangerous people, don't mess around with it.
But the other lesson is this: your life is more than whether you are single or not. I know; sometimes I have even felt as though I'm less than a full person, or there is something terribly wrong with me, or I'm a loser in life because I can't seem to find that other magical human to be with. I don't let those thoughts take hold, I shut them down immediately. You should too.
As I run off to be around friends I am thankful for today, I want to encourage you to, well, as cliche as it sounds: go for your dreams. You can be and do so many things, regardless of having someone you call a mate. Be it. Do it. Smile. You have so much, you have life, live it for all you've got. There's nothing wrong with you for being single, so many of us are with you.... you're not alone.
So, I decided that even though I was taking a break from the wild (and difficult, and painful) world of dating, I'd keep writing in my dating blog. I'm experimenting with a new idea: talking up my single friends. Why not?
In that spirit, I present to you Wolfman Dave.
You know, it's funny, I've known Dave for years and I never really found out why he's called Wolfman. I suppose, ladies, you'll have to find out for yourself.
Dave: part wolf, part ... ???
I met Dave through a series of random events. I happened to be walking around Old Town Pasadena with a friend when we passed a Body Shop. I wanted to get some cool soap or something so I went in and met a girl wearing a Full Metal Alchemist necklace working there, Liz. Of course we became friends and then she invited me to see Iron Man with a bunch of her friends. Outside in the parking lot while we were waiting, there was this red haired guy drawing awesome looking stuff in a sketchbook, who turned out to be Dave.
Dave and I hit it off immediately, but that's easy for him: this guy is funny. Not only is he very witty, but he's incredibly talented. The guy can not only draw, but write, sing, and act. I asked him to draw my web comic, The Great Space Race, and he did!
Dave's and my love child
He's also a great guy to have around in a pinch. He's worked at hospital many years and knows how to transport injured people. Not only that, but he does it properly. This man carried me to my car when I hurt my back shooting my Robotech fan video. And my car wasn't that close either!
It goes without saying he's a big nerd like me. Marvel and Transformers are two things he likes a lot. He invents his own super heroes and sometimes wears a kilt. Big into sci-fi and literature. He's intellectual and cultured at times... and definitely mischievous. He works hard, he writes a lot, he is close to his family. Dave lives near Glendale, owns a car, and is even semi-responsible! Moderately house trained!
Anyway, I really like this guy. Maybe you will too. Or know a girl who might! He's graciously allowed me to link to his Facebook account here, so you can be his friend.
I know, you don't believe it do you? With my redundant relations of rejection, you'd reasonably react with repudiation. (I'm sorry I did that to you just now.)
Well you see, back when I just had moved to Los Angeles and was rather naive about my future prospects of fame, I had decided that I wouldn't be having any serious relationships. But I met a girl on the set of a film, and she liked me. A lot.
Again, I know, this probably seems unbelievable, just bear with me.
I wrote a song about being a Stalker!
So, I told her I didn't want anything serious, I didn't have time, was focusing on my acting career, all that. She was fine with that. Until about six months later, when she wasn't. I could tell things were starting to get a little strange when we had a two hour phone call where she accused me of cheating on her but wouldn't explain why she thought that. She just kept trying to get me to admit it.
Of course, I wasn't. I was just really confused. So, it turns out that, finally, after two hours she admitted that she saw me ask a female friend to a movie on Myspace (I know, I know, I'm so ashamed. It was a few years ago, ok? I swear I don't use Myspace anymore!) and so, of course, I must be cheating on her.
Well, it got weirder after that. She seemed to get more suspicious and so I finally broke things off; it was just strange. Well, that was that, I thought. I did like her and felt bad that it was over, but it seemed perhaps for the best. And that's when the stalking started.
It was really only one night of stalking, sorry to get your hopes up. See I was going to go to the Labyrinth of Jareth, Masquerade Ball. (This is, by the way, one of the most fantastic events you could ever go to; if you're in LA, get your tickets for next year now.) Originally I had hoped to take this girl, let's call her, Stacy. Stacy the Stalker. But, fortunately, there is no shortage of beautiful women that I know in Los Angeles, so I took another friend of mine. (Of course, we never dated.) Let's call this friend, Beatrice the Beauty.
So, there I was, all dressed up in a fancy costume with my Beautiful Beatrice at the Ball. (I swear, I didn't do that one on purpose.) But my fancy date didn't feel well; we only spent about an hour at the ball before I had to take her home. So, I did. Then I thought, "I didn't spend all this time on this costume to stay home all night!" So, I went back to the ball... solo. Or so I thought.
You see Stacy had read on my Myspace (!) that I was going. So she bought a ticket. To find me there. And find me she did, even with my mask on.
"Are you Steve?"
"How do you know?"
"I can tell by how you walk."
Wow. Kind of scary. So I took off my mask and she asked about my date and I told her the truth, and so of course she instantly became my date. My clingy, gropey, beggy, date. She followed me around even when I told her to give me some space. She begged me to go out on to the dance floor, and after a few times, I finally went. We danced and she rubbed herself all over me and tried to kiss me. I really wanted to escape. But no, there was no escape. She followed me everywhere until I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided I was doing to leave. Of course, so did she. She wanted to walk me to my car. I figured at least once I got in, I could escape. But then she asked for a ride back to her car.
Well damn, aren't I a nice guy? I did it. After we parked she threw herself at me, begging me to kiss her. This was really weird. I felt awful. I couldn't give in or she'd stalk me the rest of my life. I was firm, I brought her to her car. She left.
A few days later she admitted she had bought the ticket just to follow me there. I talked to her for the last time, then, and no more stalking occurred. But let me tell you; I learned my lesson.
The next year I brought my Mom as my date to the ball.
So, as you may have read in my last blog... I'm taking a break from dating. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop blogging, because, you, dear reader, deserve better than that!
You see, I've got literally dozens of horrific dating experiences from my past that I'm sure you'll love. So, this is going to be the beginning of my Blast from the Past series! (Original name, huh?)
I really don't even know anymore.
About two years ago I had a chance to go to a party at nerd heaven: CalTech. That's right. It was a school-wide party and I thought for sure I'd find some genius-girl there! It was quite an amazing party, actually, they even had a Tron theme going, with stages and props built by the students.
There was a cute girl in one of the rooms with glasses on. I started a conversation with her and she seemed smart and sweet. I liked this girl! So, I got her number. I thought things looked good, and was excited to call her. But then, she went home for... (dun dun dun)... Thanksgiving.
Seriously. Thanksgiving ruined my chances with this girl. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. I thought I'd text her while she was on vacation. Here's an example of how one conversation went.
Me: Hi, enjoying your visit home?
Her: Yes, it's great. Trying not to eat too much dessert.
Me: Enjoy it! It's only once a year. What are you going to do tonight?
Her: We're going to watch porn.
Now, at this point, you probably are feeling something like I felt at that moment. Let's see if Google search has an image that represents this feeling.
Something like this.
I thought... hey... so... she's... trying to be funny? Maybe? So I figured I'd go along with it.
Me: With your family?
Her: Yep. Family tradition.
Me: Oh yeah? Which one?
Her: Debbie Does Dallas.
So, I let that go for a while. Thought I'd take a break, maybe call her the next day instead. So I called the next day. A youthful male voice answered. I asked for her, he said hold on. Then, whoever he was, put the phone down and just left it there. I could hear noises of people talking and stuff. I waited about two minutes or so, then hung up.
I called again a few hours later, hoping to finally get her. The same guy answered with, "Hey. Is this that loser guy? He sure sounds like one," then hung up.
I figured at this point, well, she must have decided she hated me and had her relative/friend answer and mock me until I went away. Or, she from the start intended to mock me and had her boyfriend answer the phone. I have to admit, I kind of got angry.
So, I decided on a last ditch plan. I'd call her at 2 a.m and leave a voice mail and tell her what had been happening just in case it was, somehow, not her behind it. I figured there's no way she'd answer at 2 a.m. Or, whoever those people were, they wouldn't answer either. So I called. A female answered. I was totally not prepared for this.
Well, let me tell you, there was no way I was going to let whoever it was make fun of me again so I laughed evilly and then hung up. Of course, it was really her who had answered.
She texted me the next day saying that she thought I was a really nice guy but then she must be wrong because what kind of nice guy would do something horrible like that? (Yes, I still feel bad about doing that. It just... happened!)
So I texted her back saying I wasn't horrible but that someone else (it seemed) was texting me and even using her phone when I tried to contact her. She said it was probably her cousins that were there for the family gathering that took her phone. Well. At that point it was kind of too awkward to continue on anymore (you know with that whole evil laughter thing), and we just agreed to go our separate ways.
Sometimes it really does seem like there's some kind of force keeping me from being with someone... this really bizarre mystic fate that causes all kind of odd things to get in the way of me just having a normal relationship with a nice woman.
Either that, or it was the work of the Curse of the Thanksgiving Turkey!
I know, all dozen or so of you may have been wondering about the epic story of my repeated bludgeoning out in the dating world. Well, wonder no longer!
As we left our non-hero last time, he had been on a date, just before being hung up on by a nerd-hating femme fatale.
She blew me away. Not literally.
How was that date? I'm sure one of you vaguely is asking.
It was... not horrible! Yes, nothing terrible happened. It was quite unbelievable. She was a very interesting person and I hope we'll stay friends. I don't think we will be dating, however.
In general, there are about 2-3 women I have been interested in lately but to actually get a date or even a phone call out of them has been extremely difficult. I feel like I'm chasing them down. I finally realized what I was doing and thought they must not really be that interested. In fact, heck, I'm not that interested in running around like an idiot trying to get a date with them.
So, in light of my recent experiences and current situation, that's it folks. I'm taking a break. I'm going to relax. Watch some anime, play some PS2. Start watching Revolution, if I remember that I recorded it a week ago. So, now, all of you folks who like to say "You always find someone when you're not looking," here's your chance to be right!
What dating is like for Steve
And if you're right: well fine, I won't complain. (I might just punch you in the face though. Only once.) It certainly would prove to be easier than my current methodology.
So, back to being a nerd... editing my book, editing someone else's book, working on my music, and voicing a children's audio book. And whatever else I want, when I want. Because I'm single.
P.S. Oh and also, if you were kind of mildly wondering, no, I never heard back from one single woman from DragonCon speed dating.
So, yet another girl I had met on OKCupid has been playing phone tag with me for weeks. It's strange because I really don't even use OKCupid for dating but people tend to message me. Regardless, this is what happened when I finally got her on the phone today. (As close as I can remember this is what we said.)
Me: Hi! Glad to finally talk. I wanted to ask why you have a blocked number?
Sue: Well, I get a lot of rude people so they have to earn the privilege to get my main number.
Me: Oh, I see. So what are you looking for in a guy? Sue: If you read my profile you'd already know that.
Me: Well, I did, but that was about a month ago, remember?
Sue: Well you seemed really interested in me so I've been nice and returning your calls.
Me: Yes, well you actually messaged me first.
Sue: So what do you look for in a woman?
Me: Well, I'm kind of a geek.
Sue: And you're proud of that?
I think this will go well.
Me: Of course, I love being a geek.
Sue: Why are you proud of being a nerd or a geek?
Me: Well, I just -- I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Sue: Yes, but what are you proud of about being a geek?
Me: Well, I guess I enjoy being able to have fun, intellectual conversations with others about science and science fiction, things like that.
Sue: And you're proud of that.
Me: Well, you can kind of imagine -- have you seen Big Bang Theory? I'm kind of like some of the characters on that show, except I'm more well socially adjusted.
Sue: So you're one of those people that hang around all night waiting for a movie to open, because you have no life.
Me: Well, no I just said, I'm like that except I'm well socially adjusted.
Sue: In your mind.
Me: You can ask my friends, and I have a lot of them --
Sue: Which are all nerds too.
Me: No, I actually have friends from all over the world --
Sue: No, I think you're really a major geek. GOOD-bye.
The good thing is at least this saved me from actually having a date with this woman, can you imagine how awful that would be? And yes, if you imagined her with a snarky, condescending tone in her voice as she talked, you got it right! I feel sorry for the guy she ends up with.
P.S. Stuff! I did go out an a real date with a real geek girl today, but I had to type this phone call out before I forgot any of the precious statements Sue made. So I'll blog about that other stuff soon.
As I told you recently, I had plans to go to DragonCon. And, so I did.
I met some cool new friends at the top of the escalator in the Hyatt who were discussing zombies, and one mentioned there was an event, "Light Speed Dating" that Friday night. At first, I was a bit hesitant, but then I remembered my duty to you, dear reader, in writing this blog. After all, I had just done a "normal people" speed dating event (and realized I'm anything but) so I felt it necessary to go experience this phenomenon.
Light Speed Dating at DragonCon
I came to the event just as it was starting. There were two huge lines going out both doors. They were all men. Hundreds and hundreds of men. I am not exaggerating this number in the least. I'd say at least 200. There were no women in the line. Why? Because the event was short on women and any female interested could skip the line and just walk in.
I managed to get in to the event, while hundreds of men still waited outside, hoping. I got my number, 512, and eventually found a seat. I have to tell you that there were probably one hundred women and one hundred men in the room, set in circles of chairs. There were about 4 circles. They were still frantically trying to get more women in to match the amount of men. Eventually, we started.
Since there were so many people we had one minute to talk to each person. Basically it meant that once things started getting interesting, it was time to move on. You were allowed to pick your top five and write them on your card, to see if you match up later. (If you didn't know, speed daters write down numbers of the ones they like, and at the end the organizers see if two people pick each other for a match.)
Let's hope I find her soon, and don't have to fight any exes.
I talked to so many fan girls that night, it was amazing. Many of them were in costume! And I knew all of them were single. I was pretty happy to have so many of them in the room that shared my interests. We asked each other all kinds of questions, about our lives and interests. Most of them were shaking hands, so, unfortunately that's probably how I got sick. (Cough.) In the end I actually had eight women I liked, and had to pick from. I even met another actress girl from Los Angeles and we decided to be friends regardless since we are in the same area and profession.
Finally, after almost three hours, my voice was gone, and the event was over. I turned in my card, hoping for at least one match. Now, I know you're wondering what happened with my matches, and I have to tell you: so am I. It's been a few days since the event, but considering the massive amount of people those poor organizers have to go through, it's not surprising that they haven't gotten back to me yet. At least I have to think that way because the only other conclusion is that none of the women I picked chose me in return. Of course, that would never happen! Haha!
I did find out later that one of the very attractive women I picked just did it for a lark and totally put down fake contact information. Gee, thanks for wasting one of my votes! Other Things Happening and Not Happening
Recently two women on OKCupid actually messaged me. One was a pretty yoga instructor. I told her I was going on vacation for two weeks and that I'd love to get together when I got back. She said that sounded great and was looking forward to seeing me. Except when I got back:
YogiWendy has deleted her account.
I met a girl locally a month or so ago who also gave me her facebook, she added me yet hardly ever talked to me. She is a nerdy kind of girl who also shares other things in common with me. Recently I saw her in my top friends and decided she was never going to talk to me so I deleted her and sent a message to her. She replied by giving me her number. I'm so confused.
Also, at DragonCon, I decided this year I'd just chill and see my friends and such (besides the speed dating, obviously.) However, just wandering around, I did meet a few girls I liked. Here's the synopsis:
Girl 1: Beautiful, nice, sweet, talked to me a good amount... totally didn't tell me she has a boyfriend (saw it on Facebook.)
Girl 2: Wandered up to her to compliment her dress at the bar. When I did, the three guys talking to her left. Maybe they thought I was with her? I talked to her and her friend for over an hour and walked them to their car. She helped me find her on Facebook, picking the correct account. She still hasn't added me. Why do that?
Girl 3: I was about to fly back home and saw this pretty and happy girl dancing with her friends. She was steampunk and had a cat tail. I found myself wishing I had someone like her, someone with that fun and happiness that was so evident. I thought, "Why not?" as I was about to fly out and leave. I asked her to waltz and she did. It was very fun and brought a little joy to my heart. I asked her if I could talk to her again... and to my surprise she actually added me on facebook. We even talked a while and it seems we'd be great together. Until she told me she's just "not dating right now." (Of course this could be code for "not dating you right now.") Oh well. That's what I get for getting my hopes up! Bad Steve.
P.S. I want to let you know that though, as you can see, my dating life is and has been miserable through most of my life, I still am a happy and motivated person. I have many blessings and rewards and goals. I am grateful for this life, and the next. For some reason, I have this strong desire in my heart for a soul mate, and so I still seek her, regardless of the pain. I simply must.
