I have received a lot of great feedback here and on facebook about my personal dating journey. It makes me very glad to know that 1) people actually read this thing and 2) not only that, you seem to care. That's really awesome. :)
Lately it seems to me I may be giving the wrong impression. So, I want to answer a couple of concerns people have mentioned. And then address a crazy person. But that's later. First, let's talk.
Looking Diligently Does Not Mean Settling
Yes. I'm looking rather thoroughly for someone. I realize I want someone very special and rare. I know that many of them that meet my expectations are probably so awesome they are with someone and also have a line going out the door after that. So I'm trying the usual ways I look, like through friends, social activities, dating sites, etc. I'm also trying other things, like the speed dating I mentioned last time. This is the way I look at it: I'm like a biologist trying to find that rare species that some people think might not exist, I'm the archaeologist trying to find a lost treasure, I'm the musician trying to achieve that perfect harmony. I believe it will take effort to find someone like this, and so I look. I'm not looking really hard and then taking the first person that comes along. There will be no settling.
Lonely Does Not Mean Desperate
I told someone on facebook the other day I was going to speed dating and they said, "Wow. You're desperate." No, I'm not. I'm just doing what I would do for any goal I have in mind -- I work for it. I try as hard as I can and hold nothing back. I realize lately I've posted a few times about how I'm lonely. I am. It happens. I see this as a feeling. It can come and go. I don't see it as a symptom of some problem. Sometimes I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm confused -- I'm a lot of things that are simply a part of being human. If I'm lonely, I accept it. Feelings are part of being alive. Even feeling sad can be a beautiful experience, the depth of feeling one can have. I love that we have emotions, and so many of them. I don't believe they should control us, however. Some nights I'm lying in bed dying for someone to hold, to fall asleep with, to feel breathing next to me, softly, at peace. That doesn't mean I'm going to go crazy and grab random people to sleep next to. This longing will make it much sweeter when it is fulfilled.
I think perhaps because my dating experience has been so transparent and I'm posting about it makes it seem more to the forefront, so it might give the impression of these things, but it's not really like that.
Dear Crazy Person,
I find your comments bizarre, unsettling, and only vaguely related to what I'm actually saying. I do not want a girl who is "smart" so she can pay attention to my brains and "lack of physical prowess." I don't think I'm better than anyone, including jocks. I'm also not a sexist pig.... anyway I found out that that person was a troll. At least, it was trying to be a troll, but it instead appeared to me to be mostly insane and made no real sense. So maybe it was a confusion type of troll. Carry on!
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ReplyDeleteShe wants you dude...thats why she keeps posting.
ReplyDeleteI think she does. :)
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ReplyDeleteThere's no butthurt here, you're taking Steve far more seriously than he takes himself. You are grasping at straws in his commentary so that you can attempt to tear him apart. His only point here was that he takes his happiness far more seriously than many people out there take theirs. I know Steve in real life, and I liked and respected him from moment one. Why would you go out of your way to blast someone for voicing their own opinion, when it's not even related to current pop-litical (tm) issues? After Steve's valid response to someone's opinions, the only thing you can come back with is "you look like a serial killer." Seriously? I was told that once, too. That was the beginning - now there's a club of people who think she's crazy and avoid her like the plague.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I'm not defending Steve, he needs no defense, although the lack of me attacking YOU back might seem to indicate otherwise. I'd just like to give you a little perspective. Enjoy!